Jaws across the college football nation dropped like testes of Lincoln High School’s freshman class this week when the immortal Bernie Kosar announced his interest in the head coaching job at his alma mater Miami. Aside from being most famous for losing big games late on dramatic plays (Flutie’s ‘Hail Mary’ and Elway’s ‘The Drive’ both happened on his watch), Kosar has exactly zero coaching experience. The AP explains it thusly:

Kosar has no coaching experience, but he often serves as a mentor to quarterbacks at Miami, where he serves as a university trustee. He retired from the NFL after a 12-year career with the Cleveland Browns, Dallas Cowboys and Miami Dolphins.

Those QBs on Kosar’s resume? Ken Dorsey, Brcok Berlin, Kyle Wright and now Kirby Freeman. One doesn’t need to press ear to the ground to hear that wonderful sound of the 10,000 hardcore Miami fans hitting the floor in one simultaneous heart attack. The AP also touts Kosar as a “fan favorite…from 1983 to 1984.” Which is coincidentally the last time the Hurricanes had fans other than Luther Campbell, Vanilla Ice and Michael Irvin.