Yes, the absence was prolonged, especially considering the post we left at the top of the page for the last 2 weeks, but it’s all Jimbo!!* Mania now, baby. That’s right, the man who may or may not be a shrimping boat captain has now, finally, officially been named the new OC at FSU. And my agonizing wait to post the picture is finally over:

Yup, after oh so many ins and outs (reminiscient of middle school romance, we were talking, we weren’t, we passed some notes, he flirted, we got mad, then we made up)you’re looking at, quite possibly, the next head caoch Florida State University. Personally? I’m absolutely giddy. The man’s name is Jimbo!! He’s responsible for two absolutely demoralizing bowl game ass-whompings of Miami and Notre Dame the past two seasons, and a 2003 National Championship to boot! His name is not Jeff Bowden! If the man’s new offense can average 375 yards and 30 points a game in 2007 he’ll probably be more popular than Saint Bobby hisdadgumself.

All in all, it’s been quite a haul for the Noles in the last couple weeks, to wit:

• December 27: Lorenzo Booker is kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a 1996 Volvo wagon parked near AT&T Park in San Francisco. He is replaced by LaDanian Tomlinson for FSU’s appearance in the historic and illustrious Emerald Bowl. FSU wins.
• January 3: Seminole fans bid a tearful goodbye to favorite QB coach Daryl Dickey who groomed some of the most reliably unreliable QBs in program history over the past 6 seasons. Dickey joins departing RB Caoch Billy Sexton and OL coach Mark McHale, leaving behind an offense that truly will never be forgotten. FSU wins.
• January 4: FSU signs new OL coach Rick Trickett, who, while not a shrimping boat captain, is a former Marine and Vietnam war (combat!!) vetern, who said of his new charges, “If they’re scared of hard work they will have a problem. If they’re not they’ll probably be all-conference. If they’re lazy they’ll probably have a problem. If they’re not, they’ll probably be All-America. We’re going to get hard nosed and people will regret seeing us roll into town.” FSU wins.
• January 5: FSU signs new WR coach Lawrence Dawsey a former player who was as hard-working as he was gifted and has turned into a beloved “player’s coach.” Plus, he posed for this picture (Dawsey in white):
• 

And now we get Jimbo!! Fisher, who may or may not be a shrimping boat captain. I’m telling you now, that considering the regime he is following, Jimbo!! has absolutely no ceiling with FSU fans. Don’t be surprsied if he has his own statue in 10 years, and check the baby-naming trends in the 32303 zip code. This is like following Pinochet in Chile- as long as you don’t start disappearing the populace, you’re a hero.

I’m excited, you’re excited, we’re all excited. Let’s get to Feb. 6, when our irrational optimism can hit Stage II: Lunatic Slobbering Over 18-Year-Olds. Only these will be dudes, dude. Maybe we should re-check our priorities.

Jimbo!!

*Please note that according to Florida Statute 445.056, enacted January 1, 2006, all written references to Jimbo!! Fisher’s name must contain at least 2 exclamation points, but no more than four exclamation points, placed directly after his first name.